"require no more from her, in the way of self-denial, than you are willing to endure yourself"

Pamela Legge

Fanny Fern is referring to a conversation she had with a clerk who is complaining that he only makes eight hundred dollars and yet is wife consistently goes out and buys extravagant cloths and material goods. Despite his complaints Fern blames the husband, noting the fact that he knew what kind of woman he was marrying and the value she put on material items. Fern goes on the explain to the husband that is he would explain the circumstances to his wife she would be more than understanding. However the husband also needs to look at what expenses he has that are unnecessary. Fern is explaining to the husband how if he is not willing to give up some of his material luxuries, he can not expect his wife to do the same. Once again promoting equality in the marriage, and simultaneously reminding men that they have to keep in mind what type of woman they are marrying. Not to marry a woman who is used to luxuries he can not provide, or a delicate woman and expect her to work on the farm. All of these facts are attempting to raise the awareness of the husbands of their part in their wives' unhappiness.